Parents - KEEP OUT! This message was most likely hanging on a door at your house, or it will be before long. Giving the space your child needs and desires not only helps her to discover more about herself behind a closed door, but it gives you time to discover more about where you are 'now' as well.
It is healthy and appropriate to reflect on the experiences you had during the age your children are experiencing. Especially since your memories are still in tact of that age. What you experienced may not be the same, because you're a different person, with different parents. But, there are similarities. The feelings your adolescent is experiencing of being misunderstood and embarrassed by you is normal and universal. They need you to 'Keep Out', and yet they need you more than ever. Except, only on their terms. Giving them the space they need, with healthy boundaries, grants the trust, self-confidence and reassurance they long for.
For me, letting go of the daily hugs and kisses, the silly singing and dancing, the humor -- that suddenly received eye-rolling instead of smiles was heartbreaking. If you have a younger child in the house, this may not be a big deal, as you still have a buddy and confidant. But for those who have an only child, it is a challenge. The most important thing you can show them is you are also growing and changing. You are also learning and doing more self-care now that you have more time.
Your child is learning from you 'undercover'. They want to be as opposite from you as possible but will also mirror the wonderful things you are doing in your own life. - When they are ready.
No one is going to need to breathe more than you. And although Moon and Thunder is designed for growing adolescents and teens, you are the pillars that must keep standing. No matter what.
In designing this program, a monthly time slot for parents and caregivers is on the agenda. I'm not naive to the fact that scheduling a time that will work for most is almost impossible, but I don't want to give up on the idea because of schedule challenges.
I was a single parent from the time my daughter was 6, so when it came to the adolescent years I needed people! Or at least a friend with a daughter the same age. And luckily I had one. During the high school years we talked on the phone daily. We laughed, cried, and commiserated. We listened and shared stories.
We are in this together.